'Tis a Puzzlement
Anonymous Unmasked
---
A Discussion Revealing the Authors of
Some Widely-Circulated-Without-Proper-Attribution Poems
Presented for your consideration by Mary Sullivan

Oh, those ubiquitous (not to mention downright plagiaristic) bards, Ann Onemus and Arthur Unknown! When reading a poem with one of their names on it, have you ever stopped to wonder what circumstances might have conspired to give them credit for someone else's work? Ever speculated on how the legitimate parent of such a poem might feel upon seeing his/her offspring treated with callous disregard? Do you find it at all strange that a largely sophisticated public can be so often duped into readily accepting without question such obviously false claims to authorship? Well, I can't begin to explain the latter phenomenon, but perhaps this discussion can shed light on the first two questions.

Learn the true story behind ...
  • The Guy in the Glass
    "When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,/ And the world makes you king for a day, / Then go to the mirror and look at yourself / And see what that guy has to say."
  • If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer
    "If a packet hits a pocket in a socket on a port / and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, / and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, / then the socket packet pocket has an error to report."
Plus a few words about copyright concerns, a plea on behalf of some orphan poems in search of their heritage, and a successful identification, thanks to readers like you, of the proud parents of ...

Look me over

The Guy in the Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.

On any given day a web search will result in scores of unattributed or wrongly attributed postings of "The Guy in the Glass" or some mutated variation thereof. In fact, I regret to tell you that I previously made the mistake of circulating the poem with permission from someone who claimed to have written it in 1948. Having subsequently learned its origin, I can only hope this page will serve as an apology and help to set the record straight.

Perhaps you would like to know how the poem, first published in 1934, has fared on its far-reaching journey through the realm of anonymity. In the 1970's a reader sent it to Dear Abby, falsely claiming that it was written by a young man who wished to remain anonymous. The poem's stirring message then quickly reached the masses, and became a favorite throughout the rank and file of Alcoholics Anonymous in particular. Many public postings continue to incorrectly assign its creation to the likes of Emily Dickinson, Rudyard Kipling, and a host of unknowns. Any poet would surely like to have written this one, and I suppose it stands as a testament to the poem's appeal that it has been so often plagiarized.

In a warm exchange of correspondence with Peter Dale Wimbrow, Jr., he assures me that his late father believed strongly in forgiveness, as is evident from reading this divinely inspired poem, and that he would be pleased its message has touched so many lives. Would his children like to see credit given where due? Well, wouldn't you? In short, anyone who'd lay false claim to another's work must face his/her own reflection. I urge you to read the original version of the "The Guy in the Glass" and learn more about it's gifted author at The Official Guy in the Glass Web Page

Look me over

The Copyright Debate?

Another strange phenomenon compounded by the "anonymous" designation is that folks seem to think nothing of taking it upon themselves to rewrite, or "fix," a poem thusly labeled to suit their own whims, often murdering meter in the process. Hmmmm ... what if we turn the tables here for a moment?

SUE! SUE! SUE! (it's now the thing to do)

My dear D.A.:

I want to say I'm forever being blamed for poetry not penned by me as some darned poet claimed. Now I've a mind that you can find the louse since I have failed. 'Tween you and me I'd like to see the lying culprit jailed.

If you agree it's sure to me you'll find the lousy cuss and make him pay till old and gray.

signed: A. N. Onemus
(a/k/a Ray E. Gessler :)

Fair enough, A. N.! After all, you do have your reputation to uphold.

Seriously, though, in giving credit for original material used with an author's permission we can only act in good faith based on our confidence in the reliability of the source. As for unattributed work, it is clear in most cases that people who post anonymous poetry on their web sites are merely trying to pass along something worthwhile in the spirit of community. Hmmm, does the end justify the means?

Though international copyright laws remain in a fuzzy state of flux, there is no room for misinterpretation of the basic fact that an author owns a copyright on written material from the moment it is produced, whether or not formal legal notice is given to the public. Seems mighty risky to assume that just because an item does not bear an author's name or a circle-with-a-c it is therefore in the public domain. Circulating material of questionable origin by e-mail among friends is a heap sight different than posting it on a web site. A simple web search for "copyright" will produce ample information for anyone concerned with the legalities.

Setting the legalese aside, web poets seem to have developed an unwritten but easily understood system of determining what is available for sharing freely within the bounds of common courtesy. Ol' Willie explains it in a nutshell ...

If I send you rhyme without the ©,
just pass it on, no gripe from me.
But if it's marked just don't erase,
what's stuck on there acrost it's face.
And if it's stuff I don't want out,
I'll tell you shore without a doubt.
Course other's works I wouldn't share,
'cept with folks who really care.
And understand the rights we got,
'bout printin' stuff when we should not!!!

Willie goes on to say, "Talented folks would not give a thought to copying someone else's work, but they run in droves out there who would lay claim to it in a minute, so ..."

A POET'S BRAND
By Perry L. "Willie" Williams

The mavericks from days of old
Got brands put on by cowboys bold
Enough to drop a loop on them
Where trees were thick and light was dim

So if you care about yore "hoss"
And cain't afford to take the loss
Before "he" goes out a runnin' free
Just mark that critter with a ©

Cause if us poets don't take pride
And put a "mark" there on the hide
It may get stolen, or even worse
Become "anonymous," the poet's curse!

"... all to provide free grazing for a mostly unappreciative public." On the other hand ...

FREE GRAZIN'
by Mary Sullivan

You cowboys and the P.O.E.M.S.ter clan
see mostly eye-to-eye --
We rope a thought the best we can,
then let that hummer fly.

But as for slappin' on a brand,
a signature's enough
to tell the folks in cyberland
about who hatched the stuff.

Anyone who'd take the brat
but lose its parent's name
should hafta wear a dunce's hat
and hang his head in shame.

We send our babies out to play
and hope they'll make some friends.
Sometimes they even earn some pay ...
I guess it just depends.

The cowboy world is armed with sly
legitimate promoters
to publish books the folks will buy
and round up good poem-quoters.

But if some fool should up and filch
my rhyme and try to hawk it,
he'd find it's not worth zip or zilch
upon the open market.

The payback comes in other ways,
and saves me stamps and ink,
to put it here for folks to graze.
(At least, that's what I think.)

Look me over

If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

Honorary cousin Gene Ziegler held to the free grazing principle too, when he willingly and freely shared his delightful creation among an appreciative group of friends. With speed that could only occur in the technological age, Gene's poem was bushwhacked and sidetracked toward Anonymityville in no time flat. And to add insult to injury, it came back home with its feet hobbled. Visit his Digital Clocktower to read the original version of "A Grandchild's Guide to Using Grandpa's Computer" and learn more about its metamorphic history. I'll now let Dr. Zseuss tell you exactly what we think of the bandito still at large ...

HANG THE INFORMATION HIGHWAYMAN!
© 1995 Gene Ziegler

Commentary on widely circulated poem called
"If Dr. Seuss were a Technical Writer"

When a party writes a poem and he puts it on the net,
He writes for love not money, and he takes what he can get.
He writes to bring you pleasure, that's the nature of the game.
He writes for recognition and he's sure to sign his name.

I wrote the poem in question, but this will make you laugh,
the version circulating, is my work cut in half!
Someone didn't like it, I guess that's a cinch.
It passed around the internet, until it met the Grinch.

I've never met the miscreant who edited my work,
but when I close my eyes and try, I can see the jerk!
The eyes are tiny pixels, close together you will find,
they're only separated by his narrow little mind.

His fingernails are dirty as he types on sticky keys,
He lurks around the network and takes whatever he sees.
He edits, chops, appropriates, and strips away my name,
A scoundrel on the internet, a lowdown dirty shame.

I'd like to find this filcher, so I'll offer this reward.
I'll give away my Mac SE, throw in the power cord.
If you will help me track him down and hang his internets
This information highwayman deserves what'er he gets.

And if we fail to find him, I'll hit him with a curse.
His hard disk will start spinning counter-clockwise in reverse.
His screen will start to flicker, and his mouse will chase a hearse.
I'll teach that hacking larcenist to tamper with my verse!

If you want to see my uncut work, take heart, it's still alive
It's in NetGuide, page eighty-six, for March of ninety-five.

The original Dr. Seuss impersonator (accept no substitutes).
Gene Ziegler

Look me over

The Orphans Need Your Help!

If this discussion causes one person to consider the ethics involved in web publishing, then it has served a worthy purpose. Alas, many poems make the rounds daily for which some clever person is not getting the recognition deserved. Perry Williams speaks again on behalf of the downtrodden ...

They tried to slip it by 'er
But she caught it at a glance
That little orphin critter
It just didn't stand a chance

Of gettin' to the rhymin' land
Where big (?) time poets live
'Less the Onion finds it's parents
And they will permission give

To share their purty young'n
With folks who surf the net
And 'specially faithful poemsters
Who appreciate, you bet

And want to know the author
Who birth'd the "little beast"
Cause we all agree the daddy (or mama)
...Should be recognized, at least!

That's right, Cuzzin Willie, and toward that aim we'll begin a list of titles and identifying lines, some of which have circulated the net under the guise of anonymity since Hector was a pup. If you have titles to add, or any information leading to the true source of these gems, please contact me using the e-mail link provided at the bottom of this page.

  • I'm Fine (All Mixed Up)
    "Just a line to say I'm living, that I'm not among the dead,
    Though I'm getting more forgetful, and more mixed up in the head."
  • Mary in the Genetic Age (Mary Had a Little Lamb Lamb)
    "Mary had a little lamb, it's fleece was slightly grey.
    It didn't have a father, just some borrowed DNA."
  • Why Dogs Sniff Each Other (The Yorkshire Dog Poem)
    "The dogs all held a meeting and they came from near and far;
    A few arrived by cab and others came by trolley car."

And some successful reunions ...

  • Footprints in the Sand - Claimed!
    "One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord."

    • Mary Stevenson was my mother. I have been personally working very hard for several years to get her recognized as the true author. Even after her passing in 1999 I still felt the need to get the word out. She would have been very flattered to see her name on so many web sites knowing that they are being viewed by people all over the world.

    Basil Zangare -- Footprints-inthe-Sand.com

    (One of Rhyme Central's featured poets, John Baker, was inspired by this story in his version of Footprints.

  • The Chaos (a/k/a English is Tough Stuff) - Found!
    "Dearest creature in creation, study this pronunciation,
    I will teach you in my verse sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse."

    • Chris Upward of the UK-based Simplified Spelling Society has published an intriguing article which identifies Gerard Nolst Trenité as the original author of this delightfully entertaining study in the inconsistencies of English pronunciation.

    Information provided by Donna Richoux

  • The Dash - Claimed!
    "I read of a reverend who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend,
    He referred to the dates on her tombstone from the beginning...to the end."

    • I am the author and copyright owner of The Dash poem..."I read of a reverend who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend..." I search daily for my poem on the Internet and found it partially on your site with some very interesting information regarding copyright. I thank you for your presentation from all of us "unknowns." :) By the way, my copyright # as filed with the Library of Congress is TXu858-108 so that you know I'm legit!!!

    Linda Ellis -- Linda's Lyrics

  • The Cold Within - Claimed!
    "Six humans trapped by happenstance, in black and bitter cold,
    Each one possessed a stick of wood, or so the story's told."

    • The version and discussion here, indicate that according to a letter published in Dear Abby's column, this popular poem was written in the 1960's by James Patrick Kinney, who died in 1973, and was first published in The Liguorian, a Catholic magazine. While "The Guy in the Glass" has shown us that even Dear Abby can be mistaken, the claim is certainly credible.

    Information provided by Charlene Torres

  • Abort, Retry, Ignore? - Claimed!
    "Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
    System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,"

    • The first draft wasn't even about drawing art on the computer (that came later), and I sent it around to my friends at Indiana University and Antioch School of Law. In later years, after I'd come to make my living in an art field, I came across the piece, which then seemed rough and unfinished. So I polished it up and sent it out to a new group of friends who pointed me to the old version. I'd had no idea anyone had posted it to the internet, but it was a pleasant surprise to find that people liked it. I hope they like this version, too.

    -Marcus Bales

    A web search for "Poe Puree" will turn up Marcus' revised full version, first written in 1978.

  • The End of the Raven (as told by Eddie Poe's cat) - Found!
    "On a night quite unenchanting, while the rain was downward slanting,
    I awakened to the ranting of the man I catch mice for."

    • This is the first that I'm hearing that it's been circulated 'round the 'Net, but it doesn't really surprise me. "The End of the Raven" is from the wonderful "Poetry for Cats: The Definitive Anthology of Distinguished Feline Verse," by Henry Beard. Villard Books, New York: 1994.

    -Shmuel Ross

  • I'm My Own Grandpa (a/k/a Redneck Family Tree) Found!
    "Now many many years ago when I was twenty-three
    I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be."

    • This was a song that my father taught me ... You might want to check music archives. ... I believe it was circa 40's to 50's.

    -Anna Mae Wittig

    Right you are, Anna. Copyright 1947 by Moe Jaffe and Dwight Latham, and based on a Mark Twain anecdote, according to Mudcat Cafe's Digital Tradition Folksong Database. The song is posted here -M.S.

  • Spellbound (Ode to Spelling Checker) Claimed!
    "I have a spelling checker, It came with my PC,
    It plane lee marks four my revue, Miss steaks aye can knot sea."

    • See the original uncut version of this delightful masterpiece, Candidate for a Pullet Surprise, written by Jerrold H. Zar.

    Traced via a tip from Dena Parker


Thanks for lending an ear!
Anonymous Unmasked
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Use the button if you like, and grab the code right out of the box.)

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